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The pork is so raw

The pork is so raw is still singing hakuna matata

All the single ladies


Orphan baby squirrel

This picture shows a female red squirrel adopting an orphan baby from an abandoned nest.

Eat me, eat me!

Please chocolate, I'm trying to be fit

Wearing similar clothes as your friends


You had my curiosity but now you have my attention

Will you go through this tiny hole and get a treasure that's inside?

When moms get bored with their babies


Things I do when my internet connection is being slow

Open another tab and attempt to load something else in addition to the already slow pages

I love my robot leg

I also love the fact that I am so comfortable showing it off. I can't believe that when I first lost my leg I thought that my prosthetic would be something I have to hide from the world.

Two D's and an F

What do you see here, Chris? Two D's and an F

Friendship isn't about who came first

Friendship isn't about who came first and who you've known the longest it's about who came and never left

This is intended to be an amusement apparatus

this was in my friends career day packet for the patent attorney job im going to point out that this is intended to be an amusement apparatus

Hamburger thief

I jumped into a stranger's car and stole a hamburger from someone's hands.

The duck is so uncooked

It's posting an image on Facebook

This isn't even my final form


I think I might be PMSing...

Cause when you just breathed on me all I could think of was reaching over and strangling you.

Back to sleep

I pretty much spend all day, every day, just looking forward to going back to sleep

My hair tie won't go around my hair 3 times

But it's too loose when it's only wrapped twice

I'm just big boned


That face you make when the person you hate is talking


Karma takes too long

I'd rather just beat the crap out of you

Which way to the pond?

Excuse me! Which way to the pond?

How about you and I find a dark room and see what develops?


Did you know?

In 1981, 16 year old Robert John Downey Jr. served a one day suspension from high school after snatching a comic book from the hands of a classmate and ripping it to shreds while calling him a nerd. What comic book was his classmate reading? The invincible Iron Man

Does this dress make me look fat?

No, your big bum makes you look fat.

Talking on the phone to someone who has kids

is like talking to someone who has Tourettes

Over 68,000 single women starve to death every year


Life of pie


This is a good place to sit... I will sit here


My girlfriend is pregnant


Famous failures

If you've never failed, you've never tried anything new.

Sibling rivalry

Coming this summer

Heart-warming old Victorian photo


The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you

You just got to find the ones worth suffering for

The reason we struggle with insecurity

is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel

I'm so crafty

I make people funny pregnancy joke

He's trying to catch up on his sleep

Can I come with him tomorrow

Blessed are those who snuggle and hug

... spoil and pamper, boast and brag for they shall be called grandmothers

You are drowning in information

But starved for knowledge

Of course I'm out of my mind

It's dark and scary in there

Laughter is the best medicine

Except for treating diarrhea

I have insecurities, of course

But I don't hang out with anyone who points them out to me. Adele

Still married


Tent cover for your trampoline


All I want for Christmas is you

Just kidding, I just sent you my list

Nap like you mean it


Witty comeback

My little sister is getting made fun of at school because she's adopted. This is what she responded with "Well, my parents chose me, your parents are stuck with you"

Bookworms will rule the world

As soon as we finish one more chapter

I'm having an out of money experience


Not to be trusted with a library card


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